Hey, Aren't We Supposed to Be Hibernating Right Now?

It’s already starting.

If you haven’t yet, you’re about to get blitzed by motivational marketing. It’s going to come in the form of gym advertisements. It’s going to come in the form of supplements and hustle porn from tech influencers.

They’re going to tell us it’s time to lean into our side hustles. They’re going to tell us it’s time to get in shape. They’re going to tell us it’s time to invest in X and buy crypto. Either that, or it’s going to be “sell now before the market crashes!” They need us out there working and consuming, or panicking. But they only want us to panic in disorganized ways that make us good consumers.

Meanwhile, there’s the popular misconception about seasonal affective disorder, a condition that hits as many as 10 percent of the population. Of course, the symptoms of seasonal affective disorder include:

Problems with concentration
Cravings for carbs and sugar
Increased sensitivity to light
Problems with motivation
Crankiness
Fatigue

So you’re telling me that during the cold months, a fair number of humans want to pack on some cushion calories and go hide in a cave…

And that’s a disorder?

Says says no.

In fact, the ability to drop their core temperature and enter long periods of torpor was a major evolutionary advantage, especially for early mammals. Rodents like the purgatorius and the multituberculates survived the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, and I suspect hibernation came in handy.

It’s a survival tool.